A Different Perspective on Mother's Day, Trying to Stay Positive

My someday-hopefully-soon Mother's Day carnation from church

In March, Thom and I celebrated our first positive pregnancy test. My hormone levels were low, and I was having blood work done every other day to monitor things. The levels increased, our doctor told us that we were nearly out of the woods, we started to get excited. Two days later, the levels dropped. I had a miscarriage. I was six weeks along. Thom and I have managed to stay positive throughout the entire ordeal. The funny thing about infertility treatment is that doctors, nurses, and phlebotomists have seen everything. Thom and I are young compared to the majority of their patients. Our doctor has treated women for nearly a decade without ever getting a positive. Our nurse reminded us that now it is no longer an "if," but a "when."

Thom and I have decided to shift our plans around a little. After nearly two years of infertility treatment, I need a break. We are not giving up, just letting nature take it's course for a little bit so we can focus on each other. We started eating healthier, exercising, and going back to church. We made plans for travel, furnished our apartment, and straightened out our finances. Everything was okay.

Then Mother's Day came.

I think shopping for a card for my mom was when everything hit. They had mom-to-be cards. That should have been me this year. I can definitely say that Mother's Day is an entirely different day once you have experienced a miscarriage.

Fortunately, by the time Mother's Day came around, I was able to find peace within my heart and enjoy the day with my mom. I too will join the ranks of moms someday, once the time is right. It is no longer an "if", it is a "when."